In the workplace

From the age of 15 I always had a strong desire to work. My first job was at a factory but only lasted a day before my supervisor said “Isabella as much as I like you I am going to have to let you go. You are too slow”.

In my early twenties I was already showing signs of schizophrenia such as getting overly tired and confused. But the desire for independence and the need for money made me keep trying many jobs; from babysitting and clerical work to washing dishes and telemarketing. I would either overdo or underdo things with work. No matter how hard I tried I found myself banging against the brick wall of my disability.

Over the years it was heartbreaking not to be able to follow my work dreams and to be rejected time and time again. I experienced many two-minute interviews and plenty of “Don’t call us we’ll call you”. When I would get a job, it wouldn't be long before it would abruptly end. Losing jobs made me feel I had lost everything, including my confidence and self-esteem. I would then go back to my poor habits of sleeping-in, isolating myself and overeating.

Employment agencies

Even after being diagnosed with schizophrenia at 27, I still had many problems finding work with employment agencies. I really suffered with the long and involved training course of one particular agency. Training sessions were at least three hours long, several days a week. With my poor concentration and restlessness I failed to take things in. Then due to anxiety, I began to display unsociable behaviour such as going to the toilet frequently, turning up late, leaving early and failing to participate in group discussions. I would also leave behind my unread handouts.

The course with its extensive interview techniques, detailed resume writing, and multiple personality and skills tests was just too much for me. I felt as discarded as all my papers when I was finally given my marching orders by the agency, who gave me a harsh letter telling me not to bother coming back.

Not all bad

In my thirties and forties I finally found a good psychiatrist who made me see that many of the jobs I had tried were not for me. He suggested I not work for a while and then to start looking for work with fewer hours. I slowly built up my concentration and work capacity through a good structure and routine. My disability levelled out with adjustment and better management, and I started to experience some good turns in the workplace.

One good disability employment agency found me a job in a mailroom after I had proved myself doing a little bit of unpaid part-time reception work for them. The job in the mailroom was manageable; just two four-hour blocks a week. Everyone knew about my disability and made allowances for me. I was very lucky in this instance to have an empathetic employer willing to give me a go, was living in a supported accommodation place and had a key worker who would even take me to work. I lasted six months in this role, which was a record.

Greater luck

Later on I had even more success when family, friends and a new more encouraging psychiatrist suggested I write for money. This was in my late thirties. Being able to work from home and for myself made a huge difference. I have now written for publications for at least five years and am still going strong. I have finally found my calling unlike in reception and telemarketing which were not for me. I now love to work, and feel in many ways I have achieved my dreams with all my heavenly editors and readers.